Conclusions of Variety A Personal Blog on my happenings and thoughts

NPR in the MorningPosted by cczernia on January 26th, 2005

I must be a masacist because every morning my alarm goes off tuned to NPR. It is scratching and mixed with a loud beeping but I get up, turn off the alarm, lay back down and turn on the main clear radio which brings NPR in my room which I listen to for 10-15min before getting ready for the day.

This morning I wake up and a few minutes later get a speech by President Bush. Same ole’ frustrating crap. 80 billion dollars for the war, Iraqi elections, soldiers dying for the cause, health care, ex ex. Everytime he speaks it is painful. I think that everyone else must be hearing something else because it makes no sense to me. Like he is speaking a different language. I cannot comprehend what he is saying. I understand the words and their meaning but I cannot understand how he can justify what he is saying.

More boggling is that this is what we wanted. Or at least the majority of the country that voted him in. I keep hearing that the democratic party failed because we weren’t aggresive enough during the election. But how can we take the blame for Bush’s failings.

And things like health insurance concern me. I currently trying to figure out how to get, if I can afford it, and if I do get what exactly I’m getting. As these policies are written not to be understood. So, currently, I don’t have health insurance or a savings account. That means if something happens to me I’m fucked. I’m either rejected from medical help or will end up with a bill that I can’t possibly pay.

For the first time I feel affected by the politics that seem so far away. And it drives me crazy every morning as I listen to NPR reporting Bush’s plans. And I realize every morning that I, much less that nation, am getting screwed. I now wish I could go back and listen to Humpty and Dumpty, the Howard Stern rip offs on all the local rock station around the nation so that I may be ignorant of my surrounding and blissful.

Stressing over NothingPosted by cczernia on January 24th, 2005

I wonder if stress is a relative thing? I think about my problems and think they must be so minor in comparison to a homeless person or a tsunami victum. However, if there situation is 10 times worse then there stress must be 10 times worse. Anyway.

Over the week I had to deal with a minor quibble from online boards where a bunch of infighting occured after a player wasn’t happy with a game. Seemed like a simple enough problem and I’ve handled these situations before. Amazing I seemed to have made things worse. However, I no longer blame myself. Internet communication is an amazing thing. I can write pointless things about my life and people will actually read it. And, while writing this I could be pissing someone off and make them hate me forever.

Personal communication is probably only 50% words. I’m no expert but you don’t really need to be to figure that one out. In college I participated in an experment for psychology were I guy was testing internet communication. Me and some other guy had to type a one page essay on pornography and we could only communicate over the internet. I had a lot of fun with it tossing emoticons and joking. By the end he had no idea what pornography was (he thought he did) and was raving pissed while I had a delightful time with the project and though he did, too.

So, I’ve seen flamewars ignite and passions soar since I first started logging on in 1991. The recent events on the my internet boards show that some things never change. From the recent fight to a good friend leaving the boards.

To add to my nothing stress I ended up sitting next to Stephanie the other night while she went through he mail after being in Chicago for five days. This wasn’t something I wanted to do* but she seemed comfortable with it and if she didn’t want me to see anything she could have waited.

Of course she ended up pulling out mortgage statements and other financial information which made me realize that our financial situations are very different (well, I knew this, but this was a big reminder). This gets me going on reflecting on my financial situation which stable, is not great or secure for anything bad to happen to me physically or in the work place.

I now try and figure how to change that. Have been for awhile and am totally clueless when it comes down to these things. I love my job (doing the work I want, walk to work, no deadlines ex ex) but if I want to improve my future in any significant way things will have to change.

*There are certain things I want to remain ignorant of such as past boyfriends (Chasing Aimee Complex, or the whole how do I compare) and finances but realize I’ll have to deal with these things if I want the relationship to work.

Whackiness of GeekdomPosted by cczernia on January 21st, 2005

Last Saturday Stephanie I went to a geek concert at Lestat’s. You might be thinking “What is a geek concert? A concert full of geeks? A concert with a choir of geeks?” Well, it is both. Stephanie had managed to find this woman who sings about science fiction, roleplaying, and the geek lifestyle on Livejournal so we decided to go.

The event was interesting as geeks listened to the acoustic sounds of geek music. A few geeks were even singing along. After a while we realized that we were outsiders, that all the people were part of some bizarre niche geek circle. After the event they all poored outside and talked among themselves like some SCA I hate the mundanes circle jerk.

I did have fun though. Stephanie thought it was funny when thing singer said “This for all the gamers who take Vampire: The Masquerade too seriously.” I also had to smile at that.

Who’s Cooking Now?Posted by cczernia on January 17th, 2005

…well me, sort of. I’ve never been a big fan of cooking preferring going out, being fed, or making something quick an easy. Over the years and did learn a few things like, boiling water and greasing a pan. From there I learned to make a few things:

Scrambled Eggs

Spagehetti with sausage

Salad

Crab Dip

I’ve tried a few other things but didn’t make them enough to remember how to make them again. I’ve never really cared for cooking and as a result havn’t had the motivation to do more.

In an attempt to get me to cook more my parents sent me “A Man, A Can, A Plan.” I finally decided to pull it out, find something to make, get the ingrediants and put a meal together.

I chose some tostada looking thing made out of: canned chicken, refried beans, salsa, and a corn tortilla. Hit the grocery store and got the ingrediants and wipped them up in the evening. Overall pretty easy as all I had to do was toss the chicken, beans and salsa in a bowl and heat in the microwave. The tortillas had to be heated in the oven which set off the fire alarm.

In the end it was alright but I now have another reason why I don’t like cooking. I have 10 corn tortilla and a bowl of this stuff left over. It was alright but I really have no desire to have it again for awhile.

So, I tried it and decided I just don’t like to cook. I know there is some kind of wierd stereotype of romantic supermen who cook are the greatest, but fuck that. I’ll stick with my salads and soups. I’m sure I’ll try it again but I’m just not that into food.

zerneeak.comPosted by cczernia on January 14th, 2005

Zerneeak.com is live! I will slowly be changing all my links to zerneeak.com but I won’t be getting rid of czernopkins because everything has been indexed under that name. I’ll also be switching all my email to zerneeak but my old ones will still work.

For those who don’t know czernopkins was a combination of my last name “Czerniak” and my x-girlfriends “Hopkins.” The web space was originally meant for both of our webpages but since we split up it doesn’t make any since to have czernopkins.

The Mac BandwagonPosted by cczernia on January 12th, 2005

Everyone decided to comment on the new Mac stuff so I felt obligated to do so. Even at the gaming session the other night the subject came up of a miniature computer and random ipod. Honestly, I really don’t care but it is obvious that the Mac marketing machine is pushing its way into the consciousness of America.

For Christmas I got an ipod. I asked for a mp3 player and got an ipod. Just shows how mp3 player now equals ipod. I would have been just as happy with the Sony mp3 player as I am with my ipod.

I decided I needed to get the arm sheeth for when I go to the gym so my girlfriend and I headed over to the Mac store before seeing “Unfortunate Events.” I, of course, was in geek heaven going through all the ipod accessories, giving the G5 a hug and finally finding the $40 sheeth (a bit pricey but I bought it anyway). Stephanie watched the people in the store who were all crammed around the ipod stuff and took notice as to how well dressed they were.

So, now Macs are stylin computers. It you want to be seen make sure you get a Mac and ipod because that PC just won’t match that dress. And it seems that Hugh Grant will be sporting a custom mauve ipod-mini at this years Academy Awards.

So, on that note I care about as much about the new products from Apple as I do that they released a new version of Acrobat. For something much more interesting I know that “Blue Rose” and Werewolf: The Forsaken” should be out in the next couple of weeks. Now there is a release to turn the world.

Rain Rain RainPosted by cczernia on January 11th, 2005

It has been raining a lot. We have been getting record rain fall for the past week or so. There has been so much rain that I finally broke down and bought an umbrella. I suppose it could be worse, it could be cold and snowy.

Luckily I have been in high spirits during all this rain putting my CD collection on my computer so I can put my music on my ipod. Only problem with that there is too much music to choose from. So, I’m walking down the street thinking “what do I want to listen to today” and I start filing through the music on the ipod overwhelmed. I guess that is what playlists are for. Also got to download my first two full albums from itunes: Interpol – Turn on the Bright Lights, and Garden State Soundtrack.

I found out that my x-girlfriend is possibly moving and joining the peace corp. I found this out while in Las Cruces and it was really strange hearing news about her as I hadn’t heard anything for months.

Also have to mention that “Series of Unfortunate Events” was an amazing movie and anyone who liked Potter should go and see it as it is just as good if not better!

MigrainesPosted by cczernia on January 6th, 2005

So, I had another headache this morning. It wasn’t too bad but it made me nervous that it was going to turn into another Migraine. I have now become paranoid that the slightest alteration in my head will turn into an excrutiating migraine like the past two did. It even made me a little nauseous but now I wonder if that was from the actual headache or now I just assume that I’ll be nauseous with headaches. As long as it doesn’t result in violent puking like the first one did I’m happy.

Probably going to see a doctor soon for this because doctors are like TV. What they say must be true…

Technical ChangesPosted by cczernia on January 5th, 2005

Just a quick warning that I’m making some changes to my webpage and blog. In the next few days I’ll be switching servers and adding a domain name. As a result the site might be down for a few hours and I won’t be able to receive emails. I’ll try and get everything up and running asap.

Also, I’ll be adding an alternate domain name, zerneeak.com, soon.

Blogging on the bandwagonPosted by cczernia on January 4th, 2005

Guess I wasn’t the only one who started a blog in 04.

BLOGGING IN AMERICA

• Blog readership has shot up by 58% in 2004
• Eight million have created a blog
• 27% of online Americans have read a blog
• 5% use RSS aggregators to get news and other information
• 12% of online Americans have posted comments on blogs
• Only 38% of online Americans have heard about blogs

From BBC Online